Lower Melbourne Town
Hall until April 25, 1999
Melbourne
International Comedy Festival
Reviewer: KATE
HERBERT
English comic, Jeff Green, had very entertainingly wriggly
hips the last time he was here. He still has them but he's keeping them covered
with a suit jacket this Comedy Festival. His material is funny enough without
the hips.
The impish Green has 'charming' all wrapped up. He is sweet
and quiet, speaking almost in a whisper into his hand-held microphone and
scampering all over the stage.
He begins with his cute observations about Melbourne: Aussie
rules, cheap hotels, the enormous MCG which could occupy Yorkshire. Our coffee
keeps you awake for a week, our road signs warn us not to doze. Could there be
a correlation?
He chats benignly, almost tentatively, with us. He lulls us
into a false expectation of niceness at the start, only to launch into about
forty minutes of very funny, sometimes lurid ("Have I gone too far
now?") gags about sex.
His main thrust - an appropriately sexual pun- is the fine
balance of the genders in relationships. He gives both teams a big serve but
says outrageous things about women with a mischievous grin, cleverly fooling us
into feeling that nothing he says is really sexist. Ha!
His list of things you will never hear in a relationship
from men and women, is hilarious and well-observed. "Darling", says
the imaginary man, "tell me that again but in more detail." He
observes that, since living with his girlfriend, he has discovered all sorts of
things he never knew he needed: romantic candles feature high on the list,
probably horoscopes do too.
He taunts us with the frightening reality that we confuse
loving with being a bloody nuisance. He compares humans desire to mate for life
with bad-tempered swans and gladiatorial walruses that also have one partner.
If the audience weren't laughing so hard we'd have all been crying.
When he comments on the "sartorial inelegance" of
single men all the women groan in recognition. How many women have bought an
entire wardrobe for their partners having thankfully got them out of track
pants or stubbies?
He reminisces about the insane behaviour of mad girlfriends.
He rambles about how to maintain your dignity, find your keys, hold onto your wallet
and have sex while you're drunk. Green has some interesting tricks involving
elastic that may be useful to know.
By Kate Herbert
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